The Gratified Mindset
TAoN No. 213: Accepting the everyday gift of physical enchantment. Plus: 30% off sub sale! And more
I’ve admired the work of writer and educator Ian Bogost (perhaps currently best known as a contributor to The Atlantic) for years. We share an interest in objects, and I cited some of his thinking about everyday games in The Art of Noticing book, among other connections.
So I was excited to hear from him about his newest book, The Small Stuff: How to Lead a More Gratifying Life. Described as being all about “existing deliberately and with attention to regain our human-ness,” it certainly sounded TAoN relevant! And indeed it is.
“Think of gratification as something the world gives and that you accept.”
In the book, Ian spotlights and explores the specific idea of gratification. This differs from happiness (“big-picture contentment”) and satisfaction (“pride in accomplishment”). In his words:
“Gratification is the sensory enchantment of everyday life.”
I love the sound of that! So I asked Ian if he could offer a prompt to share with TAoN readers to get us in the gratified mindset. He responded with two prompts, both terrific. He writes:
The more I worked on understanding gratification, the more I tried to deemphasize the idea that feeling gratified requires work. We’re so used to thinking that feeling good must require effort! But the good feeling of your senses connecting to the world is weirdly effortless. It happens all the time. I’m touching the keys of my keyboard as I type these sentences. My forearms sense the smoothness of my desktop. In another room, I hear the tink-toss of a garment careening around in the clothes dryer.
So I’ve found it helpful is to think of gratification as something the world gives and that you accept. The keyboard is offering me smoothness and clickiness; the dryer is tendering tink-toss sounds. To enjoy the momentary delights of the physical world, all I have to do is accept the sensory gifts it offers.
THE PROMPT: A THING YOU SENSE OFTEN
Choose one thing you touch (or hear, or smell) repeatedly every day. It might be a door handle, a cup of coffee, a steering wheel, a shampoo, a refrigerator door—or whatever. Allow the repetition of your encounter with the thing to suggest that it has something to offer you. Even two or three encounters is enough. Think of it as a friend offering you a gift, and accept that offering: The coolness and smoothness of the brass doorknob, or the pinkness and viscosity of the shampoo, or the earthy smell of the coffee, or the cushiony give of the refrigerator-door gasket.
And the next time you encounter that object, accept the gift again—or see if it offers you something new.
BONUS PROMPT: SHARE WHAT YOU FIND GRATIFYING
Gratification can feel weird and even a little embarrassing. What am I doing, enjoying the squish of the fridge-door gasket? It can help to verbalize the sensation and why it felt gratifying. Just tell someone about it. This can work great in the moment, with a coworker, family member, or friend who is in the room with you. Describe what you felt, and you will probably find that other people feel it too—but they were perhaps a bit shy to recognize gratification, too.
Great stuff! Thank you, Ian Bogost! And to all: check out The Small Stuff (Bookshop.org / Amazon). It’s a unique and welcome addition to an important cultural conversation. And it’s a useful one, too: “You probably encounter, or more likely overlook, hundreds of chances to feel gratified every day,” he writes. Agree!
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IN OTHER NEWS
Flattered to be a guest on author/speaker/coach Jann Freed’s podcast, Becoming A Sage. (N.B.: I’m no sage. But fun convo.)
“Sit somewhere ordinary and attempt to notice, for ten unbroken minutes, the things around you that are not asking to be noticed.” Thanks for sending this, Leo!
New Kate Bingaman-Burt book to mark 20 years of Daily Purchases!
Car as transition space, by Alex Wipperfürth. Been meaning to link to this — very interesting piece! (Slightly related: this “invent a commute” item from a pandemic-era TAoN post.)
Summertime Bingo, from Rubi. I gotta do a bingo prompt!
Mark Frauenfelder on the Yoko Ono show now at the Broad Museum in L.A. It sounds amazing, and I love Mark’s documentation of “Painting to Hammer A Nail.” Wish I could see this show! (While you’re at it, here’s an old TAoN post about Ono’s book Grapefruit.)
The Rumpus is back.
Music critic Bernard Holland Q&A with music critic Bernard Holland. “Interview yourself” is a good writing assignment.
W. The letter — one of my favorites ;)
Wordnik Interview with novelist Bennett Sims. “Your novel A Questionable Shape uses quite a few unusual words, including addorsed, apostil, claustral, colligates, lazzarettos, roscid, taphephobia … were there any unusual words you wanted to use but couldn’t fit into the narrative?”
OKAY THAT’S IT!
As always, I value your feedback (suggestions, critiques, positive reinforcement, constructive insults directed at me, not at anyone else, etc.), as well as your tips or stories or personal noticing rituals, things we need a word for, and of course your icebreakers: consumed@robwalker.net. Or use the comments.
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And thanks for reading …
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Thank you for this lovely article. I quite often notice the birdsong in the trees. However, I only really notice it when I'm not noticing anything else. When I'm not noticing the to-do list in my head, the bustle of our household, or the noise of the traffic. When I stop and pay attention, underneath all those layers, there is almost always birdsong. From the soft coo of a pigeon, to a magpie's warble, to a cockatoo's unmistakable squawk. I am so very lucky to be surrounded by this constant abundance. Thanks for the reminder.
Sometimes, I say thank you to the refrigerator or the air-conditioner when It takes a break. Right now with 90 degree temps and so much humidity, I need to be grateful for their sound and they run and keep things cool.